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Nathan has a chipped front tooth, which I find kind of endearing. We’re at a Halloween party and he’s standing next to the punch bowl dressed in what looks to be a pair of army fatigues except the typical camouflage colors have been replaced with blends of red, yellow, blue, green, and purple. I don’t recall ever seeing anyone in the military wearing a rainbow uniform, so my guess it’s his way of showing his enthusiasm for ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ being repealed. Then again, Nathan has always been the you-don’t-have-to-ask-I’m-going-to-tell-you-anyway type of guy. This is the reason why I have a crush on him.
Well, that and I’ve seen him shirtless.
But the thing I like most about Nathan is that he’s really down to earth. He’s funny, smart, and caring, and really modest. He could have any guy he wants, but he doesn’t seem to want anyone and to be honest, well, it pisses me off.
If I were over six feet tall with abs that looked like they belonged on the cover of a Men’s Fitness magazine, I certainly wouldn’t be hanging out by the punch bowl discussing anime and comic books with some of the more nerdier attendees. But I’m not over six feet, I’m barely five foot eight. And I don’t have fantastic abs. Hell, I don’t have abs at all. Nathan has those typical washboard abs, ridges and ridges of perfection and my midsection ours looks like someone flipped a bathtub upside down. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating, but my point is he’s hot and he’s not using it to his advantage. If he’s not going to use those strikingly good looks, I’d be happy to take them off his hands.
Maybe I’m just being bitter. I wish I had the courage to go over there and talk to him. I mean, if Lenny can sit there dressed as a Hello Kitty and carry on a conversation with him about Batman, why shouldn’t I be able to just go over and introduce myself?
Am I really that pathetic?
Nathan catches me staring at him and I quickly turn away, deciding that yes, yes, I am really that pathetic. After a few seconds, I steal another glance and notice that Nathan is making his way across the room…toward my direction.
What the hell was I thinking?! I don’t really want to talk to him, especially with the massive ketchup stain that is unintentionally decorating my Han Solo costume. Han Solo. God, I’m such a hypocrite! Okay, okay. Here he comes. Just be cool. Be cooooool.
“Hey,” Nathan says. His voice is perfect.
“Hey,” I say back, except my voice cracks. What the hell is this, puberty? At twenty, you’d think I’d master how to speak in a monotone by now. I’m such a freak!
“I like your costume.”
“Thanks. I like yours, too.” Yeah, way to keep the conversation going, genius. Say something witty and charming. “I like Star Wars.” Why?! Why do random, stupid, bits of useless trivia about me always seem to explode out my mouth whenever someone attractive is around me.
“I can see that,” Nathan says. “You’re Theodore, right?”
I nod my head. “Yeah, but most people call me Ted or Bundy. That’s my last name.”
“Yeah, you know, like the serial killer.” There’s a moment where the two of us stare blankly at each other. It is a second after that moment that I realize that was probably a very stupid thing to say. “I’m not a serial killer,” I add. Yeah, sure, that doesn’t seem suspicious at all.
Nathan laughs and it makes me smile. “You’re a pretty funny guy.”
I almost tell him that I’m not doing it on purpose, but luckily I refrain from making myself look even more like an idiot.
“I saw you staring at me earlier,” Nathan says.
“I wasn’t staring at you.”
“No. I was staring at Lenny. At his costume.” This is, of course, a blatant lie, but I don’t want to seem like a stalker.
There’s a look of disappointment on Nathan’s face and it makes me want to confess that I really was staring at him, but I can’t bring myself to say it. Why isn’t their a self-help guide to not being a complete moron when it comes to being social with attractive men?
“Hey, guys!” Hello Kitty Lenny bounces over to us, not at all ashamed or embarrassed by his own behavior. I wish I had his confidence. I wish I had any confidence, really.
“Hey, Lenny,” I mutter and silently add, go away.
“Excuse me,” Nathan says. He begins to walk away and I panic. I don’t want him to leave. I want to talk more, to get to know him better. I want him to see that even if I’m kind of a dork, I’m still pretty cool, too. I just want him to give me a chance. Without much thinking, I grab his wrist, my silent of asking him not to go.
Again, there is another moment where the two of us stare at each other. My heart is racing. I don’t want him to reject me, but I mentally prepare myself for it. I should be use to rejection by now, and really, I am. But it always stings when it’s someone I’ve had a crush on for a while.
Nathan turns toward me and smiles. He settles himself against the wall right next to me and he and Lenny continue their previous conversation about superheros. Lenny is showing Nathan his imitation of a Superman stance. He looks completely ridiculous doing it while dressed as Hello Kitty. Nathan laughs at him.
Nathan has a laugh that I find unbelievably captivating. I have the feeling that maybe I’ll be lucky enough to discover several other charming things about him.
Image credit goes to strecht